In my school, I was that kind of student who never wanted to be on a stage.
When my mom and teachers pushed me, I decided to do it one day. I was in the middle of a group of 7-10 students in the morning assembly. Standing on stage, in front of 2000 students. I was nervous!
It was my turn to share my morning thoughts.
I finished it in less than a minute and I felt relieved.
That’s the only stage experience I had till the 12th standard.
Whenever I participated in a fancy dress competition or any drama, I was always in the back seat.
I remember this play that we performed at our annual function. It was around Krishna and Sudama. Guess my role? I had no dialogue and I was standing with a bhala (javelin - thanks Neeraj for making it popular) outside Krishna’s fort.
That’s it, that was my role.
Fast forward, July 2016, I was invited to speak at an International Blogging Conference, BlogX, in Delhi. I was into blogging back then!
I was super excited but nervous!
I started preparing a month back. Asked my sister to help me with my speech.
Guess what? I messed up on stage. I was blank.
But somehow, I finished my speech, and the moment I left the stage, I was thrilled. Everyone congratulated me on this.
It was my thought that I messed it up on stage. I was probably too naive for it.
It did work because instead of shooting jargon and speech that I practiced, I started speaking my heart out - all in Hindi.
I was no longer nervous.
That was the time I realized that what matters is how you connect with someone.
I have met some crazy people in the metro, restaurants, buses, and where not!
I have closed deals in less than 300 seconds.
All because of one superpower - communication.
The origin of ‘communication’
The word communication has been derived from the commune. What does that mean? 👇
Communication means sharing. Sharing your thoughts and not telling them what they should be doing!
Now let’s jump to the point …
How to be really good at communication?
Be a listener first.
The dictionary meaning of communication is fundamentally wrong. It says, “the imparting or exchanging of information by speaking, writing, or using some other medium is communication”.
The first rule of communication is to listen. Be a good listener!
When I am communicating with someone, I spend more time listening and less time speaking.
If you don’t listen, you will end up completing this image.
Focus on non-verbal communication.
Your eyes, hands, and entire body language speaks a lot. That’s why it’s called body ‘language’, isn’t it?
The majority of what you say is communicated not through words, but through physical cues.
Observation skills can help you.
Observe people around you. How they speak, how they write, how they approach someone … That’s what I did in 2016. I was observing people.
Prepare, if possible.
If I know the person I’m going to speak to, I do enough background checks. If there’s any mutual connection or a friend, I make sure that I touch that point when we are speaking.
I make sure that as we’re speaking, I somehow tell them (indirectly) that I know your background. This works like a brownie point.
Don’t be afraid to ask.
If I am not able to understand what the other person is trying to say, I ask them to repeat.
Two simple reasons: I don’t make assumptions, I make sure that I’m clear on my part so that there won’t be any space for miscommunication. Second, it shows the person that I am really into the conversation and I am willing to learn from them.
The Indian hack.
This is the ultimate one.
How do you ask if the dinner is ready or not? “Mom, is the dinner ready?” or “Mummy, khana ban gaya?”
I do the latter one. Using this, I make the other person more comfortable. In the middle of a conversation, when I am sure the other person known Hindi, I add some Hindi words.
Hindi is my native language. Even if I learn 30 more languages professionally, I will be more comfortable in Hindi than anything else. Why? I have been using this language for over 20 years now.
Connect at a local level. You ain’t firang, friend!
Talk about their interest.
Imagine yourself as Prabhakarna Sripalawardhana Atapattu Jayasuriya Laxmansriramkrishna Shivavenkata Rajasekara Sriniwasana Trichipalli Yekya Parampeel Parambatur Chinnaswami Muthuswami Venugopal Iyer - the driver.
Stop throwing BS and stick to what’s relevant. They wanted to hear about the treasure, not his name. Talk about their interest - this is how you get the attention.
All these pointers mentioned are something that I practice on a daily basis. On average, I speak to 10 complete strangers every day. Connecting more, networking more helps me observe. Observation helps me grow!
I will be bringing out more stories on how communication and meeting strangers has helped me with some crazy opportunities.
Till then, make sure you follow me here.
If you have read it so far, let me tell you, I love you too! ❤️
Very nice newsletter Man!!! So useful, informative and engaging. Keep it up!
OP start to the newsletter. Communication Tips are really amazing. Thanks for sharing Sir ji. Big fan of yours.